Thursday, September 15, 2011

Manic or Bi-polar

Do you ever feel like you are a split personality?  I do more often then not.  At this moment I ponder over the prompt provided by Gussy sews: Favorite Shop.  This is what causes my trepidation today.  I sit pondering my favorite store.  Other than the obvious, "free" store, too many names pull to the front of my mind.  And the split personality doesn't come into deciding which is my favorite, indecision isn't split in my mind it is the barbarian that forged it's way to control, how it managed to make enough decisions to do that I don't know... maybe it's indecision bored everyone to death.  No, the split comes in the joy and pain that I have at the idea of any store.  The joy of the idea of new things, shoes, baskets, glasses you name it, the idea of simply walking the aisles and envisioning the world where it all these pieces would fit.  The pain comes washing over me at even the whim of an idea to purchase anything.  You see as I have mentioned before I am super... tight.  I'd like to use the frugal but it isn't even close to how I feel about money.  It causes me actual pain to swipe my card, write a check or hand over cash.  When I look around my house I see dollar signs instead of flatware and savings account instead of china.  So the idea of choosing a favorite store... I feel like a manic depressive, washed over with joy only to have a wave of pain. 


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